I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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