we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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