And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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