why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
my penis made a compromise with my morals
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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