Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
