"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
