She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
