just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize