Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
two words...techno handjob
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
