what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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