The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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