Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
