I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
