Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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