The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize