i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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