Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
