Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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