We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
