Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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