Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
its liver damage thursday
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
