One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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