am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
