too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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