My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
