Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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