So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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