I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
