His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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