i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
