And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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