you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Everclear isn't food dammit
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
