so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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