So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
