i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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