How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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