Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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