i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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