you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
