My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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