and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
