A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize