i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
