would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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