Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
