Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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