don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
