Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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