Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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