She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
