god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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