I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
