o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
