I look better un-naked...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
