shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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