You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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