who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
