the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize