please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
