I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize