Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
