When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
