Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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