More tranny stories later!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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